Stalking

Him - again? How do you know when you're just suffering from unwanted attention or if you're actually being stalked? And what should you do if you are being stalked?

What Is Stalking?
A person stalks a victim in Wisconsin when s/he engages in a “course of conduct” that causes the victim to experience serious emotional distress or to fear bodily injury or death of her/himself, to a family member, or to a member of his/her household. If the stalker knew or should have known that at least one of the stalking acts would cause the victim to experience this distress or fear, the stalker may be charged. In most instances, a course of conduct means two or more acts carried out over any period of time. However, if a person had previously been convicted of a domestic abuse offense or a sexual assault offense against the same victim, the person may be charged with stalking after only one stalking act against the victim.

Who Stalks?
Women stalk, but most stalkers are men. A stalker is much more likely to be someone you know than someone you don't. These are the people who can become stalkers, from most likely (your ex) to least likely (a stranger):

your ex

a casual date

an acquaintance

a stranger

Stalking Behavior
A stalker may start with small, annoying, persistent actions and progress to criminal behavior. Some examples of stalking behavior are:

trying to start or keep a relationship that you don't want

threatening you or the safety of someone close to you

harming you

unwanted repeated calls, text messages, e-mails, or letters

following you

If You're a Stalking Victim
Imperative Step Number One: Find an ally. Do not deal with this potentially dangerous situation by yourself. You must tell your parents or another trusted adult immediately.

Pay attention, to the stalker - and to yourself. Never ignore the first signs of stalking. You have a creepy feeling about someone? Sit up and take notice. Always, always trust your instincts. It beats someday saying, "I knew there was something wrong...I wish I'd paid attention."

Talk to the police. Don't put it off. The longer the behavior continues, the harder it may be to stop because the stalker may have become more obsessive. No one can accurately predict if a stalker will actually become violent. A confrontation with a police officer stops most stalkers.

Document thoroughly. Write down all of the stalker's behavior in detail. Keep answering machine tapes, letters, e-mails, gifts, photos, etc.

Consider a restraining order. Although a restraining order can make a bad situation worse, it does gives notice, which is essential for legal action. It will frequently stop the offending behavior.

Cyberstalking
Someone is hassling you online? Or you want to avoid ever having someone stalk you over the Internet? W.H.O.A. (Working to Halt Online Abuse) reports they get about 95 requests for help each week due to true online harassment. For information on preventing and dealing with cyberstalking, see the Working to Halt Online Abuse Web site.

For more information on stalking, see the National Center for Victims of Crime.